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Unitarian Universalist Church of
Ogden
A light in Utah
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Resolutions
Presented at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Ogden, January
1, 2006
By Arthur Queen
This is the time of the year when most
of us look back on the previous year and count our
accomplishments. It is also the time of the year when we make a
few resolutions. If you are like me, that list of resolutions
looks amazingly like the one from five or six years ago. For example
this spare tire just hasn't left. Usually, the problem is not
with the resolution, no one resolves to do the impossible, No one here
resolve to win the (nonexistent) Utah State Lottery? It's just
that the resolutions usually require small increments of actions on a
daily basis. Most of us manage well the first week or so but have
trouble doing things over a period of months.
Oh I want to loose this spare
tire. I want a house that I'm comfortable inviting people
over to, but I'm not going to feel guilty if this time next year I find
that those goals are still works in progress.
One thing that seems to work is
linking your goal to something that is emotionally important.
Many of us have seen that commercial of a woman who hung a bikini next
to her refrigerator. If every time she looked at it she imagined
herself at the beach with everyone complementing her, that could serve
as a long term motivation. So perhaps if I pasted my face on a
picture of that hard body next to a bikini model it might motivate me
to lose weight? Nah, not a good idea. Perhaps if I put my
wife's face on the bikini model? No, setting goals for another
never works and only invites discord, besides that I
SUNBURN. Perhaps simply imagining myself at the peak of Ben
Lomond after an enjoyable, not exhausting, hike would work, something I
cannot do with this extra weight. But what might work for me,
would almost certainly not work for you.
Another way a achieving long term
goals is advocated by a website know as Flyladies. While the
specifics concern housework, the principles can be applied to just
about any goal. It starts out with a simple task that is done
every day. Once doing that becomes a habit, you use that as an
anchor for a routine. Do the dishes, clean the counters, clean the
sink, select tomorrow's clothing-a whole routine of simple, tasks
that need to be done that you have linked together as a short routine
rather than an overwhelming number of individual tasks, and it started
with simply cleaning the sink .
Of course, there is more to it than
just that, a "control journal" which is simple a "to do" or reminder
list for daily and weekly tasks. Working only 15 minutes on a
task and , if it is too large to be done in 15 minutes, leaving it
partially finished and returning to it the next day, thus making
something an ongoing process rather than overwhelming all day
project. This process can also work on things like
homework. Work fifteen minutes on that paper you need to do, do
other things for the next hour or so and then return to the paper for
another 15 minutes. If you do that, you will often find that you
have finished the paper in your head while doing other things, all you
have to do now is put on paper. And don't forget to schedule time
for yourself, though I admit some of the rewards they suggest, such as
a bubble bath, does nothing for me!
But possibly the most important aspect
is an attitude of self forgiveness. What you meant to do
yesterday and didn't do is meaningless. Your starting point
is today, not yesterday. If you goal is perfection, you will
probably never start because you know you can't be perfect. Your
goal is to make things a little better each day, to reach a point
of "good enough" You may even be surprised when others consider
your good enough to be perfection! Finally, a belief that a task done
incorrectly is still progress, the important thing is that something
was done today. For example, if a little helper throws away your
unpaid bills, the bills are much less important than the love and help
that you received.
Oh believe me, our house is still far
from perfect, but just making sure that the trash can is full each week
and more clutter leaves the house than comes in the door is progress.
Never neglect those times and
activities that leave you centered on what is most important to
you. Prayer, spells, meditation, dreaming, even your "to do" and
shopping lists help you concentrate on what is important at the present
time. As you go through the year, you may find that the goals and
resolutions you set today are less important than the simple tasks of
loving, caring and living each day to it's fullest.
If you want to share a goal or
resolution that you have accomplished over the last year or one for the
coming year, you are welcome to come forward, for sometimes a goal that
is shared and supported by others is halfway completed.
©
Copyright, UUCO, 2003-2005
If
you have any questions, comments, or additions
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please
contact Arthur Queen at
Webmaster@UUCO.org